The Final Post

So here is the end of this book review blog. I will wrap up my thoughts and talk about 2 final aspects of Batista's life.

Batista was a grandfather at the age of 35. He is not proud of this fact, but he has some very good advice for parents that might find themselves grandparents at a young age. He notes that he wasn't ready to be a grandfather, but that his grandson was here and ready for him. Batista does care deeply about his family and this comes through in the book.

Batista knows that he isn't very good at wrestling. Dave freely admits that he isn't the best mic guy, isn't the best technical wrestler, and kind of stumbled into his fame. He does try to go out and do his best every time, but he is fully aware that he doesn't have the raw talent that others have. Knowing this, he works very hard in the ring.

This book is not the Iliad of wrestling autobiographies, but I do have more respect for Batista now than before I read his magnum opus. I would like to meet him some day.

I hope that you have found this blog illuminating.

Thus endeth the lesson.

The Ultimate Warrior

It was Triple H who suggested that Batista should watch Wrestlemania VI to get some ideas. That is why Batista shakes the ropes in a mad rage. I know that if I wanted to be a better wrestler I would watch the Hogan/Warrior contest from VI instead of the Steamboat/Savage match from III. If you haven't already, check out his website.

Vince has mouths to feed

Batista's description of his rise through Evolution and getting the title are fine, but he doesn't really add anything extra to what the average fan must already know. 


What was fascinating is Batista's explanation of expenses that the superstars are require to incur themselves. The WWE will pay their salary (of course) and airfare (first class if you are a main-eventer) but the wrestlers must pay for everything else. 


They pay for rental cars, food while on the road, and even their own costumes. Now, I guess I can understand the food (although Vince should spring for a per diem at least), but the costumes? Doesn't that seem like a pretty standard expense that a multi-million dollar entertainment company should front themselves?

Eddie

It seems that every wrestler loved Eddie. A lot of wrestlers have publicly spoken about how much Eddie meant to them, and now I can add Batista to the list.

Get the tables!

Batista has nothing but good things to say about D-Von, which isn't surprising as they were paired together during Batista's start in the WWE.

What is surprising is that Batista has a mad hatred for Bubba Ray. Apparently Bubba Ray is a bully and a jerk who treated the younger, newer wrestlers like dirt. Bubba Ray broke Randy Orton's foot during a match once. He landed on Orton badly and crushed the bones. While Orton was being taken away in an ambulance Bubba Ray yells at Orton saying he hurt his back when he landed on Orton's foot. Bubba Ray crushes Orton's foot and blames Orton not only for the incident, but also for deliberately getting his foot crushed just to jack up Bubba Ray's back.

That is cold, Bubba Ray. Although Orton could have planned it that way...

I don't know the Dudley Boyz (surprising, I know) but I'd have to agree that D-Von seems like a nicer guy than Bubba Ray.

Training Part 3: Fit Finlay

So even after hitting it big the WWE realizes that Batista still doesn't really know what he is doing, so they give him to Finlay as his pet project.

Batista has nothing but good things to say about Finlay (as does everyone else he has ever trained), and, to his credit, Batista also knows that he needs the work. He says that he learned more in two days with Finlay than he did in two years at OVW. Ouch. Cornette was pissed.

Training Part 2: Enter Leviathan

His work with Afa helped Batista get a spot in OVW. This brought a paycheck of $650 per week and the role of Leviathan! Leviathan was a monster from the sea, an unkillable beast, who squashed everyone he went against. I personally think that he should have kept this character. Sure, it's pretty old school, but he and the Undertaker could have fought some great matches as supernatural, unkillable monsters.

Interestingly enough, Batista mentions that his OVW matches never lasted for more than 2 minutes, so he didn't really learn that much about in-ring technical maneuvers.

The wrestling companies do it to themselves; they love big men wrestling, and they train them properly in the minors, but once they get into the ring they give them great moves like spear, choke-slam, power-bomb, and, let's not forget, the big boot.

A lot of future superstars were in OVW the same time: Sheldon Benjamin, Randy Orton, and Brock Lesnar. Batista regrets Brock leaving the WWE before he hit it big; in his mind a Batista/Lesnar match would have been legendary. Well, it would have been better than Goldberg/Lesnar.

Training Part 1

To start his wrestling career, Batista trained with Afa Anao'i. Afa was one half of the legendary Wild Samoans tag team in the 1980's. He also managed the Headshrinkers and, most recently, trained Mickey Rouke for his Oscar-nominated role in The Wrestler.

This adds credence to my theory that every professional wrestler is trained properly and could perform all sorts of moves if they so wished.

Anyway, Batista's time with Afa helped him get his foot in the door with the WWE and a contract with Ohio Valley Wrestling.

The Power Plant

Back in its heyday WCW had a training facility in Atlanta named the Power Plant. They had what was essentially open auditions for anyone who wanted to try to be a wrestler.

Like many huge bouncer/football player/body builder Batista thought that it would be easy for him to stroll right in and became a professional.

The lead trainer had other ideas. Sarge (as he was known) pushed Batista to the limit with calisthenics. So far, in fact, that Batista threw up and was forced to continue while standing in a pool of his own vomit. Then Sarge told him to go home; he didn't have what it took to be a professional: no heart.

Batista surmises that Sarge could be one of the reasons that WCW failed; if they passed on a man who would headline Wrestlemania in a few years with Batista, who else did they miss? (An interesting theory, but flawed in many ways.)

This story does give all of the youth reading this scholarly effort a good piece of advice: sometimes you need to ignore the people who tell you to give up.

Young Love

After explaining his childhood, Batista tells the reader about his young adulthood. Married and a father at 18 and divorced shortly after. He talks about his marriage being a big mistake, and he notes that his kids were the only good thing to come of it.

He talks about working as a bouncer, a lifeguard, and getting into trouble with the law for beating up people while working as a bouncer and a lifeguard.

He also talks about his second marriage; it was a quick civil affair and after the ceremony he and his wife ate chili dogs and gatorade from a stand on the street. They ate that meal every year on their anniversary.

Now, I would not recommend to anyone who is planning a wedding to choose a similar menu for their reception, but I appreciate the romantic nature of continuing the tradition of enjoying a crummy, nitrate-laden meal.

Favourite Wrestler

When Batista was a child his favourite wrestler was the Warlord

This came as no surprise.

Lesson of the day

I am not completely sure, but I think that Batista may have written this book for children or people who have been in a coma for decades and they don't know anything that happened in world during that time.

"KISS was a hot rock band at the time. Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley, and Peter Criss were the band members. They wore face paint, played heavy metal, and were huge at the time."

If you don't know who KISS is I'm not sure that you require such an in depth, and superfluous, explanation. By telling the reader that they were hot at the time you don't really need to follow up two sentences later with huge at the time. There is a lot of padding in this book.

Geography lesson

Batista is also an accomplished cartographer.

"I don't know how much you know about D.C., but basically it's subdivided into four quadrants--northeast, southeast, southwest, northwest."

Yes. That is what divided into four quadrants means. I'm not sure the level of detail in the explanation was necessary.

I'll need to verify this...

Batista starts his magnum opus by talking about his childhood in Washington D.C. He notes that in the sixties, seventies, and eighties Washington was one of the poorest places in the country (possible). Murder was common (what does that mean?) and crack cocaine was getting its start (again, possibly true). He also provides the reader with a ground-breaking bit of investigative journalism: life expectancy for kids was worse than in many third world countries. He doesn't say "some kids" he simply notes that children (thus we must presume all children) had a worse life expectancy than in many third word countries. I'll check the facts on that one, but I'd have to guess that is a bit of hyperbole. J'accuse Monsieur Batista!

I can't believe that I am only on page 5 and have this much to write about. I even skipped over stuff to talk about because if I write about one page at a time it will take me the better part of a year.

The Inside Cover

The following is from the inside cover:

"While successfully staying away from hard drugs and --usually-- liquor, he found sex too tempting to resist. 'Women were my drug of choice,' the Animal confesses. "

Wow. Just wow.

Now, sex addiction is no laughing matter, and I will need to read this excerpt in its proper context, but this sounds a little bit like bragging. Especially since there are legions of Batista fans who wish their relationships involved a real girl and not the internet.

The journey begins...

So I lost a bet and now must read and review this book. I am keeping an open mind, remembering that many people dismissed Mick Foley's books as trash (they turned about to be wrong). It is also said that every person has a book inside them, and so it only seems fair that I not pre-judge this book by its cover, which you can see above.

The cover seems to invoke a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde dichotomy. The Dr. Jekyll side of Batista's personality is shown by the picture in the top half of the cover. Dressed in white and surrounded by blue light signifying the heavens, the angelic Batista holds his hands in prayer. This of course is contrasted by the darker side of Batista's personality, noted by the picture in the lower register of the cover. He is shirtless (as all monsters are) and surrounded by red (again the colour of evil dark personalities). His hands are not together in prayer, but clasped together for plotting evil design.

The cover shows us that this Batista is a complicated man, and that there are a least 2 sides to him. I am fearful of opening the book, yet intrigued as to what I may find.